Building rapport is one of the most critical skills I teach to leaders of all levels. Rapport is your ability to be on the same wavelength as someone and connect with them mentally and emotionally. It’s about joining people where they are to create a climate of trust and respect. When you can meet individuals in their model of the world, you can effectively influence and guide them toward positive outcomes. Building rapport isn’t only for relationships on your same level – you can and should work to build it with your boss.
4 ways to build rapport with your boss
1. Mirror, Match and Pace
This involves aligning your body language, tone of voice and speech patterns to show that you understand and respect their perspective.
If your boss speaks slowly and thoughtfully, try to match that pace in your conversations. If they use specific phrases or terminology, incorporate those into your discussions to show alignment.
2. Learn Body Language
Body language speaks volumes whether we realize it or not – we are always communicating without saying a word. Being aware of your own body language and understanding your boss’s non-verbal cues can significantly enhance your ability to connect. Pay attention to gestures, facial expressions, and posture.
If your boss tends to lean forward when engaged in a conversation, mirror that behavior to show active interest. If they cross their arms when discussing certain topics, be mindful of what might be causing discomfort or defensiveness.
3. Be Observant
Developing rapport requires being highly observant to what is and isn’t being said. Open your sensory channels and pay close attention to your boss’s behavior, preferences, and reactions. This attentiveness helps you respond appropriately and build a deeper connection. Notice how he responds to different types of information. Does she prefer detailed reports or high-level summaries? How do they prepare for meetings and briefings? Tailor your communication style to match their preferences.
3. Show Empathy
Empathy is about understanding. It’s sometimes confused with sympathy or “being nice,” but the difference is that it’s not as emotional. Empathy can be a tool for problem solving and business transformation, i.e. building rapport with your boss. When they feel understood and supported, they are more likely to trust you and value your input.
If your boss is dealing with a high-pressure project, acknowledge their stress and offer support. Say something like, “I can see how demanding this project is. How can I assist to lighten the load?”
What to do once rapport is established
Once you’ve established a strong rapport, you can begin to influence and guide your boss toward positive changes. Use your understanding of their world to suggest ideas and initiatives that align with their goals and the organization’s vision. For example, if you know they value efficiency, propose a new process that streamlines operations. Frame it in a way that highlights the benefits to the organization, showing that you are aligned with their objectives.
Remember, effective leadership is about leading up and building strong, trusting relationships with your superiors. To start practicing these techniques today and watch your professional relationships flourish, book a coaching session with me.
